Saiou no Hana
BL
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Historical
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Drama
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BL | Historical | Drama |
Shion firmly shook his head. "I'm not such a coward as that."
Kagamine held his gaze for a moment, smiling. The way the youth looked at him left Shion blushing. In his current state, it hurt, terribly.
"Once we're done here, I'm going to kiss you until you forget everything that man ever did to you."
He didn't respond. They came around the corner and found an open room where Lord Kamui sat, his fingers now wrapped at the hilt of his sword. Shion stared at it, unable to draw his gaze away. The vision appeared before him again, more frightening than even before-
No. He fought against it, lifting his eyes to gaze at Kamui with fierce determination.
"Shion," the daimyo murmured, his voice a pained whisper, "your face-"
"My lord," Kagamine answered, bowing slightly, "his master discovered he'd been out last night."
"Did you not return him before the man was awake?"
Shion approached him silently, then drew his sleeve over his shoulder, craning his neck so Kamui couldn't help but see the marks his fingers had left there.
"I beg your forgiveness, my lord, but- you were not sufficiently cautious."
"Indeed. I cannot apologize enough for my carelessness, Shion." He sighed, turning his attention towards Kagamine. "Is this why you left without my permission?"
The boy nodded.
"You should have told me where you were going."
"I didn't have a chance to, and besides, what if you'd told me not to go?"
Kamui pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose, pinching it tightly between them. This reply was probably a bit too earnest. Shion felt a twinge of sympathy for the man who sat before him.
"I assume you told the apothecary I had sent for Shion personally?"
Kagamine nodded again, with somewhat more humility. Lord Kamui's tone indicated this offense was not one he took lightly.
"And how did he react to that? Not well, I take it."
"I had to remove Shion from him by force," the youth answered, his voice barely a murmur.
The daimyo's hand drifted back again to his weapon. Shion was careful to keep himself interposed between them. Lord Kamui might not harm him, but- he couldn't guess what the man's intentions were regarding Kagamine.
"Did you leave him with the gold?"
"Yes, my lord."
The daimyo rose to his feet with a sudden swift movement. Shion's heart beat furiously within his chest, but he didn't back down. He couldn't. He regarded Kamui with all the resolve he had left to him.
"Was I at all unclear when I told you he was not to be kept here?"
"You made it entirely clear to me, my lord." The boy's voice was shaking. Shion glanced back at him. His pale face was tilted down towards the floor. He hadn't ever seen Kagamine looking so defeated. Something about it felt very wrong.
"And yet, here he is."
Kagamine didn't answer. Lord Kamui was moving forward, brushing past Shion as though he wasn't standing there at all-
He took hold of Kamui's shoulder, feeling the muscles tighten fast beneath his grasp.
"Let go of me," the daimyo murmured icily. "This does not concern you."
"How can it not concern me when I am the cause behind all of it, my lord?" He took a deep, steadying breath. Kamui's body seemed more imposing than ever before. "Should I not be allowed to speak as well?"
"Speak, then, if you think it will make any difference."
"Kagamine has done you a terrible wrong," Shion murmured. "You have every right to be angry."
The daimyo tilted his head towards him, as though this was something he hadn't expected to hear.
"He has lied to you, and to others. He has misrepresented you, and he has also betrayed your trust."
The boy seemed to cringe at his words. Kamui listened quietly, calmly. Shion desperately wanted the man to know he hadn't set himself against him.
“By all rights, a man should die for such a thing," Kamui answered softly.
"You did not want me brought here because you would not endanger my life. Are you truly so eager for his?"
Lord Kamui finally met Shion's eyes.
"You called him the voice of your will, but was your will not divided? Does it not remain so, even now?" Kamui's gaze pierced him through to his very soul. Perhaps Shion should've chosen another point to argue, but it was far too late for that now. He brushed the hair back from his swollen face. "This should not have happened for my coming to you when you called to me, my lord. My master has disrespected you more than this boy ever could. Surely he deserved to be punished."
"Shion-"
"The ingredients I took from him, for nothing less than the sake of your life- he had discovered they were missing. This beating would not have been the last. I was no safer there than I am here." Shion met his eyes very directly. "I would much rather entrust my life to you than to a man who despises my very existence."
"Little bird," Kamui sighed, "you cannot possibly understand how dangerous it is for you to be here."
"All the men who serve you have accepted that risk. Am I somehow less than they are, that I might not accept it as well?"
The man's hand brushed lightly against his ruined cheek. "No, Shion. You are not less than anyone." He paused. "Kagamine has wronged you as well. The choice whether or not to leave your master should have been yours, but he took it upon himself to make that decision for you. Tell me, then, how should he be punished?"
Shion glanced down to where the boy knelt trembling behind him. He must've dropped to his knees once Lord Kamui made the movement towards him-
"He has taken responsibility for my safety," Shion murmured softly. "That is enough."
"Have you anything to say to me, Kagamine?"
"I will not disobey you ever again." The boy's gaze, as he lifted his eyes, was directed entirely towards Shion.
"Yet here you are, already lying-"
"No." He shook his head. "I swear it. If I break this vow, take him away from me and never allow me to see him again."
Kamui arched an eyebrow at him. He sighed, then held out his hand, and Kagamine took it, leaning to touch his forehead against it.
"Do not forget the words you have spoken, little brother."
Shion looked on in startled curiosity. A moment ago, he'd been entirely certain Kamui was out for blood, and now-
He knew the two of them weren't actually brothers, but this way they had of fighting, then forgiving, each other, seemed familial somehow. He still didn't know the circumstances of their meeting, and he could hardly fathom the relationship they had to one another. It seemed complicated in a way he could hardly guess-
"Make a bath for him, Kagamine. Be sure to treat the bruises and swelling, and do what you can to make them look less obvious. There are already going to be rumors circulating among the men." The boy nodded slightly, then hurried off, looking for all the world as though he would burst into tears. Without thinking, Shion turned to follow after him-
"Shion." Lord Kamui reached for his hand. "Before you go, I would like to thank you."
"For what, my lord?"
"For knowing my heart, and-" He paused. "For reminding me I still possess it."
Shion stared down at the floor. There was something extraordinarily embarrassing about these words. Kamui's stroking fingers brushed gently through his hair.
"Come to my chamber this evening. I may not be there until late into the night. If you get tired, lie down and go to sleep. I promise I will wake you." The daimyo kissed his forehead.
He belatedly realized one of Kamui's soldiers had entered the room. "Excuse me, my lord. Are you ready?"
Kamui nodded back to the man distractedly. His hand lingered atop Shion's head.
"Follow Kagamine, and do not leave him."
Shion nodded. As he turned to go, he saw the man who had entered the room. It was the same samurai that had met him at the gate the day he'd brought the poultice-
He lowered his eyes, feeling unaccountable fear creeping along his skin.
"You are the man who saved the daimyo's life."
Shion dared a glance upwards. The samurai was smiling at him.
“I apologize for how I treated you, back at the gate. I was not aware you were his lover."
He blushed furiously at these words, staring down at the tatami once more, unable to give an answer.
"Please refrain from calling him that," Lord Kamui interjected. "He still finds it somewhat embarrassing."
"As you say, my lord." The man took a step towards him. "If there is any way I can ever be of service to you, you have only to ask-"
"Thank you." Shion bowed to him politely before rushing away from the room as quickly as he possibly could. He had no time for this. His only concern was for Kagamine.
He found the boy sitting at the edge of the bath, staring down subduedly at the floor. At the sound of the screen sliding shut, he hastily rubbed at his eyes, then greeted Shion with a tremulous smile. Kagamine would never admit to it, but he'd clearly been crying. Shion settled down gently beside him.
"I don't know if I made the right decision, or not. In the moment, it all seemed very clear, but now-"
He put his arm around the boy's shoulder, giving it a tight little squeeze.
"If anything ever happens to you because I brought you here, I won't be able to forgive myself, and Kamui won't forgive me, either."
"A person can never know if they've made the right decision," Shion answered quietly. "I know you acted on instinct, without thinking too much about it, but- sometimes that's what needs to be done."
Kagamine shook his head. "Kamui is right. I took a choice that ought to have been yours and made it for you." He sighed. "What if I can't protect you? If I fail you-"
"That frightens you, doesn't it?"
The youth smirked uneasily, looking as though he would deny it, but Shion pulled him close against his chest. Kagamine's body went limp against him.
"It's all right, you know. Everyone gets scared sometimes."
"Not Kamui," the boy muttered sullenly.
Shion remembered the look on the daimyo's face when he'd finally managed to undress him- so hesitant, so uncertain. His hand smoothed over Kagamine's arm. "Even Kamui," he assured him.
For a long moment neither one of them spoke. The boy's proximity to him was warm and pleasant. He ran his fingers through Kagamine's unruly hair. He seemed so sweet, so vulnerable. It was all Shion could do to resist the urge to kiss that tightly drawn mouth-
"Some of us have a difficult time acting on our instincts at all," he murmured. "It holds us back- keeps us from pursuing the things we truly desire- even creates misunderstandings, because no one can tell how we truly feel." He sighed very deeply. "Doesn't that strike you as even more unpleasant, Kagamine?"
The boy lifted his head, gazing up at him with an indecipherable expression. Suddenly Kagamine's mouth was pressed against his own. He found himself entwined in Kagamine's arms. The youth's kiss assaulted him with raw, unadulterated emotion. He was caught completely unprepared, but- this was what he'd wanted, after all-
Kagamine broke away with a roguish little smile. That asymmetrical curve of his lips was downright intriguing. Shion traced it out with light fingers, struggling to catch his breath and slow his racing heart.
"Are you going to agonize over having done that?," Shion whispered. "Or will you simply follow where it goes?"
"You don't want to ask me that right now," the boy answered teasingly. He picked up the salve he'd brought with him, as though to direct Shion's attention away from the matter. "It's fine if you don't want me to bathe you, but at least let me clean your face and treat those bruises." He placed a cloth on the surface of the water, then began to squeeze the excess water out.
"Kagamine," Shion began softly, "why don't we bathe together?"
"Wouldn't you find that a little awkward?" Kagamine turned towards him, then stopped mid-movement. Shion was standing before him, already half-undressed.
"Wouldn't you?," he answered, smiling. "Be careful, though. It's dripping into your lap."
The boy blushed, hurriedly laying the wet cloth aside. Shion took the opportunity to slip past him and into the water. It was warm enough, but it hadn't yet been changed from the night before. The residue of the oil was still in it- it clung to his skin with a smooth, dense sensation and a sweetly familiar scent. He turned around, gazing out at Kagamine expectantly.
"You don't have to watch," the boy complained. Shion simply stood there, unconvinced.
"You still have to do as I say, so- turn around."
Ah. That. He'd almost forgotten.
“Kagamine," Shion murmured, shifting himself obediently away, "you still haven't told me how you and Lord Kamui met."
"I might, eventually." Kagamine threw his legs over the side, skimming his feet across the surface of the water. "It isn't exactly a pleasant story."
His legs stopped moving. Shion fought back the impulse to reach towards them.
"I don't suppose you can swim."
"No, Kagamine."
"I could teach you-"
"Would you like me to teach you to read and write?"
The boy laughed. "That sounds incredibly boring." The water sloshed around. Kagamine must've been sliding into it. "That oil's so nice. I should probably do this more often, but the people in the village avoid me. I already look foreign, and I speak differently, too. Figured I should at least smell the way that they do."
"I think you're very handsome," Shion murmured gently. "And you speak very well. Your accent isn't really that noticeable."
"Back home, no one wanted anything to do with me because my parents were dead and people knew I was a twin."
Surprise flickered across Shion's face. Twins were nearly unheard-of in the village. The last pair that'd been born there had only survived a handful of days.
"You can turn around now." As Shion did so, the boy gave him a half-uncertain, half-challenging look. "Are you going to avoid me as well, now that you know?"
"Of course not. I'm not that superstitious, and even if I were, it doesn't change anything at all about you, Kagamine."
The youth blushed, staring down at the surface of the water as though he didn't trust himself to speak.
"It must've been lonely for you."
A rueful grin curled at the edges of the boy's mouth. Shion scooped up a handful of water and splashed it over his face. He leaned his head back and allowed the water to drench his hair.
"Have you gotten any sleep yet?"
Kagamine shook his head.
"I'll be fine here alone, if you want to rest. That man who met me at the gate and refused to accept the medicine bowed to me earlier and apologized. It was embarrassing and I probably seemed a bit dismissive, but- it was truly kind of him. Lord Kamui's men are beginning to seem more trustworthy to me now."
"Not yet, Shion. Come here and let me treat your face. It hurts so much just looking at it."
Shion moved slowly through the water as the boy rubbed his fingers into the salve. It was one of the goods his master had sold to Kamui- he recognized it by its scent.
He closed his eyes. This was going to sting.
Water dripped from Kagamine's hand as he lifted it against Shion's skin. "I hate that man so much for what he did to you," he muttered, his fingers gently caressing Shion's bruises. "Not just this, but everything. It made me so angry hearing what he said to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Shion. Absolutely nothing."
The youth's hand was shaking. Shion reached up and pressed his fingers against it.
"Whatever you choose to do with your own body is no one else's concern. He's the disgusting one, not you."
"Kagamine-"
The boy's hand lingered there, close against his cheek. It reminded him of the way Kamui had touched him, so lovingly, so longingly, with such complete acceptance-
Shion leaned in towards him and kissed him.
Last time had been different. Last time he'd been asked for a favor and decided to grant it, but this- this was thoughtless and instinctual. His body moved of its own accord, without waiting for direction. If he'd thought about it, perhaps he wouldn't have done it, but now-
His lips and his tongue moved together, speaking the emotions his beleaguered heart could not find words for, pouring out his gratitude, his reassurance, his warmth and his regard. From somewhere underneath it all rose the sharp, complicated taste of lust-
No.
Shion took a step back, and Kagamine stared up at him with a soft expression before a teasing grin toyed at the edges of his mouth. He knew what that grin was for, what the boy had felt pressing against him.
"Thank you, Shion. I think I'll sleep much better now, after I-"
"Do whatever you feel is necessary," he interrupted hastily. "I don't care, so long as you get some actual rest."
"Remember that tonight, when you're tempted to make all that noise-"
He made a move to push at the boy's shoulder, but Kagamine darted easily away, tossing himself up out of the water like a fish caught on some invisible line. The boy gazed back at him and laughed, then scampered off, looking quite pleased with himself.
The place where Shion lay still bore the scents and stains of the night before.
Kagamine had fastidiously laid out his kimono on the now-spotless table, but he had little enough idea how to put it on and wasn't much in the mood to wear such a thing anyway. The daimyo's discarded yukata seemed far more appealing, and after some moments of indecision, Shion chose to wrap himself in it instead. It hung off his slight frame, trailing awkwardly along the floor. It was light and comfortable, though, and made him feel as though he still remained within Kamui's arms. Surely the man would not mind finding him within it.
He was exhausted. He'd not been allowed to get much sleep the night before, and the day's events had left him thoroughly drained. Once he'd closed his eyes, sleep came easily and quickly.
Shion awoke to a set of hands lightly undressing him.
"Kamui?" He rubbed drowsily at his eyes.
"It is time to give me back my clothes," the daimyo whispered with a teasing smile.
The man's fingers gently lifted each of his shoulders in turn. Kamui leaned forward with a solemn expression and kissed his forehead. "My beloved," he whispered, "I cannot apologize enough for what has happened to you."
My beloved. The words left Shion aching and tingling.
"Now that you are here, since nothing can be done about it, I admit it is pleasant to have you near at hand." Kamui smiled at him once again. It was warm and so brilliant as to be almost blinding. His hand trailed gently over Shion's cheek. "I brought more salve for you." He paused for a moment, frowning, then pressed cloying fingers to Shion's skin. "My father," the daimyo began softly, "thought beating me would make me stronger." His face wore an indecipherable expression. "Perhaps, in a way, he succeeded in his aim, but he did not much care for the result."
Those hands which smoothed over Shion's ruined face were gentle and comforting.
“I left, as you did, for an uncertain future." Kamui smiled at him. "A future that has led me here, to you." His fingers drifted away. "You have a future as well, Shion. Do not forget that."
Shion closed his eyes, unable to force them open any longer. He didn't want to sleep, but he was- so tired-
He was vaguely aware of Lord Kamui's arms wrapping him tightly in their warmth. For a moment a sense of ecstatic joy chased through him, quickly tempered by a small, insistent doubt.
Would Kamui still be there in the morning?
Chapter V
Those arms were still around him. He sighed, yawning. Of course. He never should've doubted it.
Shion rolled over-
And found Kagamine grinning beside him.
"Kagamine, why are you-!"
The boy shrugged casually. "Figured you ought to wake up next to someone."
"You can't just go lie down in another person's place!"
"Shion-" Kagamine sighed, reaching out towards him. "Do as I say and come here."
He stared at the youth for a moment, sincerely beginning to wish he'd never made that ridiculous agreement, then huffed impatiently, throwing himself back against the boy's body.
“Are you mad at me?"
"Of course I am. You're not supposed to be here." As soon as the words left his lips, he realized how harsh they sounded. He wasn't really angry with Kagamine. He was angry with someone else.
"I can leave, if you like."
Shion clutched at the arm which threatened to release him. "No. I'm sorry. I just hoped-"
It wasn't necessary to finish that sentence. They both knew what it was he'd meant to say.
"I know it's late," Shion murmured, "and he's busy, but I can't help but think it will always be like this."
"And what if it is?" Kagamine tightened his embrace. "I'll be glad to keep you company instead." He paused, peering over Shion's shoulder. "I'm going into town to buy some supplies. Would you like to come with me?"
Go into town with Kagamine
Remain at the fortress