Saiou no Hana
BL
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Historical
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Drama
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BL | Historical | Drama |
"I'm sorry, Kagamine," Shion answered gently. "I can't. I would rather have Lord Kamui tell me himself, when he's ready."
That twisting grin only deepened. "You know, he didn't actually tell me to bathe you," Kagamine admitted, without the slightest trace of remorse. "I just thought it might help. You're so tense."
It’d been bad enough when he thought it was the daimyo’s idea, but this-
Shion pulled his clothing tightly around him.
"If you're like this with him, it won't go well," Kagamine continued. "It might be hard for you to accept, but I want Kamui to be happy just as much as you do."
Every suspicion he’d ever had of this brash youth began to resurface. He found himself wondering, once again, what sort of relationship the two of them actually shared.
"I want you to be happy as well. Kamui's never loved anyone before, and I'm afraid he's not very good at it."
Loved- before? Shion just stared at him.
"He’s so bad at it you probably don't even realize the depth of the feelings he has for you, but I've been here the whole time. I've seen it. I just- want to help you both-" Kagamine's voice broke a little. He sounded so sincere, and almost despairing. "But I can't help if you won't trust me."
“I don’t need your help,” Shion answered, “and how am I supposed to trust you when you’ve already lied to me?”
“I don’t know,” the boy sighed, shrugging uncertainly. “It seemed harmless.” He hesitated for a moment, as though there was something else he wished to say-
“Go get into the bath. There are bottles of oil along the edge. Rub three or four of them into your skin, then let yourself soak for a while. After you've dried yourself, be sure to call for me. Kamui has clothes prepared for you, and they’re going to require some help getting into. If you need anything else, I'll be outside."
The look Shion gave him right then said he’d rather die than accept his assistance.
What did the daimyo see in Kagamine? He was only a foolish and immature boy-
“You are so loud. The boy is sure to hear you.”
Shion’s body tensed against the low table he’d somehow allowed himself to be laid out upon. He had no particular desire to attract Kagamine’s attention, but Kamui seemed to consider the idea appealing. The man looked as though he was barely holding himself back from losing every last ounce of control. All Shion could bring himself to feel was a sense of awkward discomfort. He hated that he felt this way. He wanted Kamui, truly, desperately. He’d already waited so long-
Shion clutched at the man’s back, feeling the daimyo’s clothing shift beneath his fingers.
No. Not this. He needed to touch Kamui’s skin-
Shion moved his hand to the daimyo’s neckline, pulling at the edge of the fabric, but it was too tight, and the man was too close. Kamui’s entire body seemed to tense at the pressure.
Gently, ever so gently, he pulled Shion’s fingers away.
It should have been pleasurable having Kamui there, close above him. A moment ago, it was everything he wanted, but now-
Shion’s heart and body refused to act in unison.
The man pulled away from him, overcome, all taut nerves, straining muscle, and ragged breathing, as something penetrated his body. Kamui kept staring down at him with that same expression of undisguised lust, and Shion found he could meet the man’s eyes no longer.
He turned his face away.
“Little bird-” The man’s quivering hand caressed his cheek. “Please look at me.”
Shion hesitated. The tension in his body would not ease, would not go away. He had no idea how to push past it-
"Little bird, what is wrong?"
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. Kamui put his arms around Shion, lying there silently against him.
"My lord, there is no need to stop-"
"I will not continue," the man answered, “if this is no longer what you want."
What did he want, exactly? Shion was no longer sure. Some part of him still wanted it intensely-
"We will try again another time." Kamui disengaged himself, reaching out for Shion's hand. "Perhaps I have moved too quickly. Perhaps it is still too soon."
He could’ve cried from sheer frustration.
After all this time, all these many months of suffering and pain- after Kamui had nearly lost his life, and Shion had barely managed to save it-
If this was still too soon, the time Lord Kamui was waiting for might never, ever come.
Kagamine met him with the same horse they’d taken earlier, down by the gate.
"I guess things didn't go so well with him tonight.”
Shion avoided the boy's concerned gaze. His pride was wounded enough already, "I don't want to talk about it," he answered brusquely.
"I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it's going to be okay. Kamui won't give up on you so easily.”
Perhaps, Shion thought glumly, he truly ought to.
“Wake up, you worthless brat!” A rough foot shoved into his chest, and he opened his eyes, coughing. “Where are they?,” a voice hissed out at him. “Where are the ingredients?”
“What- do you mean?”
The foot kicked into his stomach, and Shion rolled over reflexively, his body doubled in pain. “How dare you act as if you don’t know!” A gob of warm spittle dribbled onto his forehead. “Answer me, Shion!”
“They’re gone.”
“Why, you little-” A hand grabbed at his throat.
“Let go of me.” Shion tried to shake him off, but the man’s grip only closed around him more tightly.
“Why should I? Your life belongs to me. Or have you forgotten?”
“No.” He made a feeble attempt to shake his head. “It belongs to Lord Kamui now.”
“Kamui?” The man’s expression registered shock for a moment. Then he began to laugh. “Why should it matter to such a man as that whether one poor peasant lives or dies?”
“I told- you-” Shion struggled for breath. He knew this was a gamble, but he had little enough left to lose. “I- belong- to- him- now-”
“Oh, is that so, little slut?” A vicious grin distorted the apothecary’s features. Those hated fingers tightened around his throat. The creeping blackness spreading at the edges of his vision pushed nearer and nearer. “Then once you’re dead, he may have you.”